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Joke of the Day

"My cardboard girlfriend fell apart when I came all over her. I don't think she was cut out for that kind of thing."

"What's the difference between Batman and Martin Brodeur? Batman isn't wearing hockey pads."

"How to impress your ex: 1. Get rich 2. Get more attractive 3. Get a tiger 4. Ride tiger everywhere in preparation for confrontation with ex"

"Damon girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face sure shows it."

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, let the bitch do the ironing in the dark."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair. (And yes, I know I'm going to hell)"

"Holy Communion: PRIEST:""This is the body of Christ. Take it "" ME:""Uum,can I instagram it first?"" *We laughed & then I was excommunicated*"

"My coworker said he enjoyed his recent trip to Port-au-Prince. I guess you could say he has a love/Haiti relationship."

"Time for a Pao wow... Feel free to express how you really feel..."

"I got pretty cool moves while dancing... But they say, so do people with parkinsons."