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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to stop my obsession of singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe...."

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"If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? You're a-peein!"
"What did the programmer say to the architect chick? Wanna come back to my homepage and check out my floor plan?"
"The other day I walked up to a homeless person. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'I thought you were homeless!'"
"Kidnapped ! by Caesar Quick"
"What does it mean when a doctor has both hands on your shoulders? The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected"
"How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero? 3. 2 to die and 1 to never get over it. Heard while playing Arkham Knight"
"I don't know why we have three different pig emojis but it's great for when you need to tell someone a pig is slowly approaching: "
"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."
"Ladies, please. Get a hold of yourselves. There's enough of me to disappoint all of you."