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Joke of the Day

"Recently I sailed the 7 seas... And let me tell you, this wasn't my worst report card (Seven seas, Seven C's)"

"At least my masseuse has my back."

"I was really pissed at my boyfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered he's imaginary. So I'm good."

"I lie in the bath for hours. But I try to tell the truth the rest of the time."

"New documentary about the female menstrual cycle. Available exclusively at Redbox."

"Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit."

"Everything is ""Our Lady"" this & ""Mother Mary"" that. You'd think church people would enjoy Your Mom jokes a lot more."

"Why does the baker bake? Because he kneads the dough."

"What do Hitler and Oprah have in common? Neither could finish a race"

"The world is so full of double standards... A woman tris to sleep with every guy she sees and she's a slut. I try to do that and all of the sudden I'm 'gay' and not allowed in Toys 'R' Us anymore."