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Joke of the Day

"What do Hitler and Oprah have in common? Neither could finish a race"

"[making flamingos] God: bird. Adam: got it. G: but it stand still a lot. A: ok.. G: on one leg. A: how high are you? G: make it pink."

"What does a chef say after he prays before a meal? Lett-Uce eat!!!!"

"Classic knock knock joke nsfw Knock knock Who's there? Argo Argo who Argo fuck yourself!"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Licksalottapuss."

"[Mary Magdalene, in bed with someone else after Jesus dies] Him: You said his name again."

"How come in math we are always solving for x? Because with my ex, I'm always trying to solve for why."

"Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?"

"Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me."

"Why can't the Chinese be Nazis? Two Wongs don't make a Reich"