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Joke of the Day

"Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit."

"horsing around I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go into the bedroom and horse around, she said nay. I guess she just wasn't in the mood."

"The ONLY reason I haven't unfriended you yet is because you have huge boobs and I have a feeling that I would miss seeing them."

"What's good on pizza, but not on dick? Cheese"

"Red light special: that smug look that you give the driver who was speeding and cut you off then ended up beside you at the red light."

"I never knew my son was 80 years old until he told me to text our neighbor because ""his leaves are getting on our lawn."""

"I've grown bored of reality, So I started watching cable news."

"My hateful coworkers discovered that I eat my lunch in the air ducts and now they've taken to smacking the air ducts with a broom."

"Waldo asked his wife what was for dinner... Fondue, waldo."

"A NoSQL query walks into a bar.. ...and then walks out because there were no tables."