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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the water that got so angry that he boiled himself? He just had to let off some steam."

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"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"
"Have you heard about that new team of women superheroes? They were Ex-Men."
"I love going over to my girlfriends place, her parents give me money when I leave! You know being a babysiter and all."
"Apparently being poor is genetic, my son loves bologna and thinks pants are optional."
"*i sneeze* Atheist: bless u Me: ha! i caught u Atheist: no its just like, an expression Me:*grabbing him by shoulders* u believe in god"
"Having watched the entire season of a show before me doesn't make you better than me, it makes you more unemployed than me"
"Two eggs were boiling in a pan. The female egg said to the male egg, ""Ooh, look, I've got a crack."" The male egg replied, ""Calm down, I'm not hard yet."""
"An angry Hillary storms into Satan's office and yells ""You told me I was going to win!"" Satan looks up from the paper and says, ""Well, you told me you had a soul."""
"I play the triangle in a reggae band It's quite easy. I just stand at the back and ting."