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Joke of the Day

"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"

"What's the difference between a large pizza and an art student? A pizza can feed a family."

"Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de bre."

"What do you do with a no-legged greyhound? Take it drag racing"

"No one will get this.."

"My six year old lost a tooth. I left a note instead of money ""too dirty."" He has been brushing that one tooth all day. Lesson unlearned"

"I schedule my appointments for 9:11 so I never forget."

"So I'm dating this half-Korean girl... Her mother's Korean, her father's Korean, and her legs got ripped off in a car accident"

"FLOTUS is an unfortunate acronym, like something left in the toilet bowl."

"If black people have the race card, women have the gender card, what do rednecks have? The Trump card."