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Joke of the Day

"My little sister made a face at my mom and said ""Guess who I am?"" My mom answered ""Who?"" ""Your daughter"" courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago"

"You'd be surprised at all the discounts you get when you come in swinging a sword!"

"if you come trick or treating at my house you will leave with less candy than what you had"

"How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within."

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning."

"""I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat"" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook."

"I just rewrote history!!!! ~~History~~ **History** im so lame omg..."

"New years eve one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early."

"Where do all the normies play? In the areeeeeiiiiiiiiina"

"What were the people on the laugh track laughing at, and couldn't we watch that instead?"