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Joke of the Day

"What comes out of a reasonable volcano? Pragma."

"i went to a 5 Guys burgers and fries and there was only one guy. im just gonna say what were all thinking. the other 4 guys died at benghazi"

"Twitter's original name was ""Sentence Contest"""

"Person asked me If I wanted to have a threesome I said no thanks if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."

"Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty evil looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours."

"Lance Armstrong, Oscar Pistorius, Tiger Woods all sponsored by Nike. Perhaps they should change there slogan to ""Don't do it!"""

"Want to know if your wife loves you as much as your dog? Lock them both in a trunk of a car and see who's happy to see you when you open it to let them out"

"Click for Joke! You're good looking."

"I recently bought a dog from a Blacksmith... And as soon as I got him into the house he made a bolt for the door."

"The best kiss of my life was with a vacuum cleaner... ... it took my breath away."