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Joke of the Day

"Person asked me If I wanted to have a threesome I said no thanks if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."

"I had a bad diarrhea few days back... Someone online suggested I should try potatoes. I've showed one up by butt and I haven't taken a shit in 3 days! Thanks stranger!"

"I keep having hallucinations of pickles. My therapist says I'm dillusional."

"I'm worried about my relationship with my anorexic girlfriend... ...I'm seeing less and less of her each day."

"A feminist was asking me how i watch lesbian relationships unfortunately, in HD was the wrong answer."

"It doesn't take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad."

"Me: Phone a friend Judge: That's not how this works"

"I prefer Protestant orange juice to Catholic orange juice... It's Pulp-free"

"Your Mother is like Communism... Shared by everyone."

"Boss just announced he is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I."