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Joke of the Day

"me [filing a claim with the insurance company after the basement flooded] We had a pony down there too"

"Where did the sick boat go to get a checkup? The Dock!"

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee Light and sweet, but with lots of fucked up behind the scenes things that had to happen in order to produce them."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere."

"Why can't ovaries sail a boat? Because they are not sea-men."

"Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am."

"Sometimes I feel like a real perv when I'm watching girls get dressed through a pair of binoculars"

"What's the difference between a thief and a pervert? A thief ~~steals~~ snatches your watch, a pervert watches your snatch. EDIT: I've done fucked it up."

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!"