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Joke of the Day

"Just monkeying around An orangutan walks over to an another orangutan and says 'Yo, I'm the best at climbing and swinging!' His friend looks at him and says 'that's a gibbon.'"

"JESUS: everyone loves me GABRIEL: wat about judas GOD: o snap JESUS: dad GOD: u've just been... JESUS: dont do this GOD: TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL"

"A man asks his wife if he can cum in her ear... She says, ""No, I'll go deaf."" He says, ""Funny, I always cum in your mouth and you never shut the fuck up."""

"What did Joey Ramone say to the prostitute? Hi ho, lets go."

"If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode."

"ELI5: Why do we blink subconsciously? You aren't now!"

"*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* ""Grow up Karen"""

"Do you think Gillette employees ever call in Schick to work?"

"What do Canadians say after a prayer in church? Eh-men"

"3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid."