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Joke of the Day
"I don't trust stairs... They look like they're up to something."
Next Joke
"I ordered the Club Salad for lunch.. I asked waitress ""What all comes in the club salad?"" She said ""Lettuce, turnip, the beat"""
"My neutered cat has such a tiny girly voice Must be a catstratti"
"My girlfriend asked me why I was blow-drying my crotch... Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the response she was looking for."
"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind."
"""For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction."" - Newton's law of the Internet"
"kids grow up so fast now a days like just the other day my daughter was asking me awkward sexual questions like ""Is that the best you can do?"""
"What do Michelle Obama and the lead singer of The Police have in common? They're both similar to insects! (FLOTUS like a butterfly, Sting like a bee)"
"Overheard at the coffee shop: 'i think that guy is listening to our conversation'"
"""Doc, my boyfriend & I don't wanna get pregnant. He hates condoms & I think the jelly isn't working."" ""What kind are you using?"" ""Grape"""