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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard"

"Black Friday is the Christian holiday where Jesus rose from the grave at 4am to get in line to purchase a discounted HDTV for his Father."

"Who called it death by autoerotic asphyxiation and not final fantasy"

"Disney couldn't handle my awesome script. Kylo Ren was Rey's father. Finn was her brother. Chewbacca was her cousin twice removed."

"I don't believe in Santa I guess you could say I'm a rebel without a Claus."

"Do you ever smoke after sex? I don't know, I never look."

"Grilled cheeses are the sweatpants of sandwiches."

"What is a Catholic priest's dream second job? Warden at juvenile detention center."

"You can't choose your family but you can choose a hitman."

"What's the difference between r/jokes and your mom's vagina? Your mother's vagina gets some new content every once in a while."