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Joke of the Day

"Another beautiful day to waste the utopian potential of social media on social media."

"I gave a melon a vasectomy. Now it can't elope"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. Credit to my 15 yo son who made this one up. I'm fairly certain he browses Reddit but he wouldn't admit it to me."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 11 years."

"What is the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One is a Goodyear, the other is a Great year!"

"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian...."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"I have a joke. Me."

"Brain: You've got ONE shot at this. Me: Ready. Brain: Go talk to her. ""YOUR HAIR IS THE COLOR OF HONEY CAN I TASTE IT?!?"" Brain: Magical!"

"What do you call a koala that drives? A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*"

"Why can't Tarzan be played by a black actor? It wouldn't be an adventure movie then, it'd be a documentary."