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Joke of the Day

"An impotent man... ... named his dick Magikarp. Because it's useless and can only splash."

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."

"What does the Sargeant of the Knowledge division always tell his troops to get? in formation"

"I wish I was able to argue about something as strongly as women do about nothing"

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. No two. No... How many do we have on the truck?"

"Me texting friend: Hey! What's up? Buddy: *sends picture of ceiling* Me: I am so glad I didn't ask ""how's it hanging"""

"Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem."

"all restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough"

"When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear ""tip to tip"" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again."

"Joke from my daughter. What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato? HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle"