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Joke of the Day
"I was an addict. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around."
Next Joke
"Jesus dies for our sins? No, no, no... He died for YOUR sins. I haven't touched a goat inappropriately since third grade."
"[walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no"
"I always say: ""Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Well, let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had:"" ...it was fantastic."
"Whether my dreams are good or bad, waking up is always worse."
"What city loves to eat sandwiches? Koldcutta"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Becca ! Becca who ? Becca the net !"
"What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common? They both know ""what a girl wants"" and ""what a girl needs""."
"Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals... ...because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."
"Deceitful atoms.. Never trust an atom... They make up everything."