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Joke of the Day

"I always say: ""Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Well, let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had:"" ...it was fantastic."

"What did the disgruntled alien customer say to the store clerk? Take me to your leader!"

"What's a basic girl's favorite vegetable? Asperrygus"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock KNOCK KNOCK. Who is there? The pilot."

"Back off, doc. I'll close this wound. Suture self."

"Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it."

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Marry your enemy. Grow old together. Watch your enemy die."

"What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it? Coconut"

"Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !"

"My doctor said that high levels of hormones were causing me to prematurely ejaculate. On my way home I bought a gag for my wife."