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Joke of the Day

"I'm pretty excited about my new band When I asked the record exec whether he thought our song would be popular, he told me it would be off the charts!"

"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts."

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team? She kept running away from the ball."

"I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you."

"I like my rape jokes how I like my rape victims... Not taken seriously."

"How does the astronaut cut his hair? Eclipse"

"I was walking downtown yesterday when this poor little old lady fell down in front of me. At least I think she was poor; she only had $2.10 in her purse."

"What do you call a gay hipster? A douchefag."

"Here is how you can tell John Cena is kicked out of Hogwarts. He abuses the invisibility spell."

"When I heard they had found the cure for dyslexia.. It was like music to my arse"