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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you."

"On the bright side, every moment Bieber spends Tweeting is a moment he isn't spending recording or performing music."

"Last night I was using Google docs This morning I decided to use Google moorings."

"Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail"

"Everyone hates Mondays and Tuesdays Even the weekdays go WTF"

"Life is like a box of Chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."

"What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush."

"Man have three potatoes in latvia Is joke, such is life."

"Excuse me, Santa, but I still haven't received the first ""ho"" you promised me."

"Last week I was with a midget prostitute. I payed her $20 to go up on me."