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Joke of the Day

"Why is Stevie Wonder in camouflage at the Grammys Because if he can't see us, we shouldn't be able to see him."

"Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident? This guy!!!"

"Some of you might get this. Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar.... .... And doesn't."

"My boyfriend wanted a serious relationship so we stopped smiling at each other."

"Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered."

"What did the cannibal say to his co-worker? You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner."

"What's a cat's favorite color? Purrple."

"finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid"

"Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork."

"When u give ur phone number at CVS turn to the person behind u in line & say ""now don't be calling me for a date"""