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Joke of the Day

"What's big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"A Florida police dog is being fired after biting two people; but to be fair, who wouldn't want to hurt people from Florida?"

"If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour."

"What's Funnier then an Obama Joke? DEZ NUTZ!!!"

"yo mamma is so stupid that when tomsterley walked out of his house wearing gay clothing she thought he was a yeti"

"All I had to do to get back into Twitter was type my credit card number into some web site in Japanese! I'M BACK AMERICA!"

"What's a gambler's favorite time of day? 10 to 1."

"I guess they are calling One Direction 1D Because thats all they've got between all of them."

"[judge at restaurant] ""I will try... the lobster"" [2 hours later] ""I find the lobster guilty of money laundering and embezzlement"""

"My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth."