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Joke of the Day

"All I had to do to get back into Twitter was type my credit card number into some web site in Japanese! I'M BACK AMERICA!"

"How do you make a gay fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Don't know To get to the idiots house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken"

"My mother in law:did you put the weight on? Me:no...actually I've lost some. You should have seen me month ago. I looked like you"

"Mc'Donalds in hurricanes No wonder McDonalds places are still open during hurricane sandy. None off their customers can blow away anyways"

"I think that Stephen Hawking is a con man.... My sister is in a wheelchair and she's as thick as shit!"

"I decided to start growing a beard. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me."

"I got a fishing pole for my wife I thought it was a pretty good trade."

"What do Walruses and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show? ...he won first place for a dried arrangement!"