31270

Joke of the Day

"All I had to do to get back into Twitter was type my credit card number into some web site in Japanese! I'M BACK AMERICA!"

"The CS:GO Joke. In a COMP match in CSGO how many people does Olofmeister kill? Olofem"

"Why doesn't communism work in a school enviroment? Because everyone would get the same Marx."

"Now my friends all hate me because I've been keeping my enemies closer."

"My friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him Dave. well i'm bad at telling jokes"

"When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes. Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them."

"What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by? Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help."

"If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there'd be no problems."

"How's havin' a dick? It comes in handy."

"Well son, your mom was the prettiest lady at that entire Gathering of the Juggalos, and I would've traded THREE wallet chains to be with her"