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Joke of the Day

"Don't make me take off my belt because then my pants would fall down and my body looks like an egg on toothpicks."

"In INTERSTELLAR, why does Tom's voice get higher when he's older? Answer: thedust"

"I think it was stupid of David Bowie keeping his cancer a secret. The amount of likes he would have got on Facebook would have saved him ten times over."

"officer: give me your name me: then what am I going to use?"

"What do you call a crazy Mexican dog? Perronoid"

"Why'd the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side."

"A friend of mine just had a penis extension. And now his house looks really stupid. -Gary Delaney"

"I don't understand why, with all the modern technology we have, objects in the mirror can't be the exact size as they appear"

"Well, it's Feb 6th 2012 and there's no meat flavored cigarettes. I guess that book of predictions I made in 5th grade was bullshit."

"[NSWF] What's the difference between acne and priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face."