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Joke of the Day

"""How come we live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors & furniture polish is made from real lemons?"""

"What do you call a repeat line cutter? A pair of scissors."

"Him: I won't bore you with the details. Me: Too late for that."

"My wife must think I'm a god... She keeps giving me burnt offerings !"

"Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"A beggar walked up to me and said, I haven't eaten anything for days. I just looked at him and said, ""God, I wish I had your willpower"""

"How much did the Olympic Games cost? About a Brazillion dollars."

"What did the illiterate man say upon realizing the couch he just purchased was made of fake leather? Oh for faux sake!"

"What do you call a rotten lamb chop? Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad."

"What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks? The closing of the Borders."