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Joke of the Day

"A beggar walked up to me and said, I haven't eaten anything for days. I just looked at him and said, ""God, I wish I had your willpower"""

"For what a college education costs these days, I think most kids would just prefer to buy a helicopter."

"Why do scientists call helium , curium and barium the medical elements? Because, if you can't helium or curium , you'd barium!"

"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian"

"*gets into trouble* Trouble: Wrong hole."

"Have you seen www.hook.com? Yes it's already caught my eye."

"Do nomads ever get angry?"

"My doctor constantly says I'm artistic. I don't know why he keeps mispronouncing it, though"

"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."

"His Holiness the Dalai Lama invited you to play Candy Crush."