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Joke of the Day

"*walks into room to find toddler stuck upside down yelling for help* ""Hold it right there baby, Mommy's just taking a quick picture"""

"The breweries of the United States are planning to overthrow the government... It's a consbeeracy!"

"If a plane from California crashes in a cemetery in Montana where are the survivors buried?"

"They tried to make me go to rehab... They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said... 'I don't have insurance'. And that was the end of that."

"How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads? Chasing parked cars."

"I've decided to sell my Hoover ..... it was just collecting dust"

"What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? That was your fault!!!!"

"Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing."

"I tried telling a pun to a group of kleptomaniacs.. ..but they kept taking things literally"

"What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs? Pai-Ling"