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Joke of the Day

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday I'll tell you what, never again"

"It's HOMOsapiens, not HETEROsapiens. It's the Bi-ble, not the Straight-ble."

"ME: ""Hey, the 1980s called and they want their pants back"" STRANGER WHO IS SECRETLY A TIME COP: ""They called?! That's a level 3 violation!"""

"What was the name of the Indian dating site? Connect the dots"

"What's the difference between Boy Scouts and Jews? Boy Scouts come back from their camps."

"Why does Donald Trump hate Casper the ghost? Because he can go through walls."

"Go to Target for shampoo. End up leaving with a blender, new pajamas, a couch, four kids and a car."

"WIFE:The pinata is in the tree out back ME:Huh? I sent the kids to the one in front W:What one in front? *angry bees are just everywhere*"

"[everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt] ""No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon"""

"Why are there no gay suicide bombers? They can find millions of virgins just by going on Reddit."