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Joke of the Day

"I watched Canadian porn today... 2 girls 1 Stanley Cup ----------------- Credit Jeff Ross"

"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."

"My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats. I guess I should really get off Tumblr"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a framed picture of Jesus? You only need one nail for the frame"

"I used to be a banker but I lost interest"

"Ironically, the Boogeyman was a terrible dancer."

"Why did the nuke switch course? Because a girl on the ground said ""I have a boyfriend"" later that day the nuke fell into depression"

"Recently had a cat-scan. They didn't find any cats."

"What does an elite hacker get after being arrested? [deleted]"

"The courier delivered only half of my grizzly outfit today... So I choked him with my bear hands."