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Joke of the Day
"Recently had a cat-scan. They didn't find any cats."
Next Joke
"I'm 30 and my knees won't even let me leap down steps to catch a subway. So yes, I think the Die Hard franchise is unrealistic."
"I was such a stud that I lasted 1 hour and 5 seconds in bed Thanks Day light saving"
"[crime show] DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been.. *Flintstones theme song plays* Murdered"
"Want to hear the new word I just created? Plagiarism!"
"Why do people call memes ""dank""? Because they release dopameme!"
"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."
"Got fired from the firedepartment Guess putting a sticker saying 'find em hot and leave em dripping' wasn't a good thing to put on our truck"
"You hear about that condiment bandit? he smuggled as much as he could mustard"
"Why are Twilight fans obsessed with it? Because they need a fandom that won't make them feel like trash."