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Joke of the Day

"If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys she's a slut. If I do the same thing then I'm gay"

"What is long, brown and covered in flies? The welfare line."

"Why should you always run next to a car? Because if you run behind it you get exhausted, and if you run in front of it you get tired!"

"Pity Teacher writes down the word 'pity' on the blackboard. Suddenly, I think to myself ""Oh, it's what comes after forty-nine..."""

"I'm going to get some hate here. Is methodist a religion that worships meth?"

"Why did the duck go to jail? For smoking quack!"

"A man is at the gates of hell. Satan: Your card please, so you may enter. Man: *swipes card* Satan: It's a chip."

"Did you hear Daft Punk is partnering with NASA to solicit bids from contractors? They're up all night to get Lockheed."

"What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito? A mosquito can ""fly"", but a fly can not ""mosquito""."

"I was born caesarean. You can't really tell, although, whenever I leave the house I go out through the window."