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Joke of the Day

"A man is at the gates of hell. Satan: Your card please, so you may enter. Man: *swipes card* Satan: It's a chip."

"Of all the millions of candidates in history, it figures that Hitler would be the one to keep his campaign promises."

"How does Moses make beer? Hebrews!"

"Ugh, I hate social media. (please validate this opinion via social media)"

"I eat my pop tarts frozen like the vikings used to have them."

"My Proctologist does horoscopes which, I guess, makes him an Asstrologist."

"My inner man is a fabulous gay dude named Gary who loves pedicures and bon-bons."

"Accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles last night My next shit could spell trouble"

"I think God is for the legalization of marijuana. After all, the Bible is full of people getting stoned."

"Why do sorority girls travel in odd number packs? Because they can't even"