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Joke of the Day

"I bet M. Night Shyamalan was really good the first time he had sex, then terrible every time after."

"Husband: Why are there broken condoms on our couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names."

"What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town."

"Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card."

"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

"How can you go broke making Twinkies when two states just legalized marijuana?"

"A joke What do you go a place where cows go eat lunch ? A Calvefateria"

"What's the difference between the Canadian-American border and a performance enhancing drug? Niagara Falls, Viagra rises."

"I don't know what NBC showed last night.. But it must have been awesome, everyone is sporting their colors now."