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Joke of the Day

"What's a man's definition of safe sex? A: When his wife's out of town."

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"I'd never let my kids watch an orchestral performance. Too much sax and violins."
"I always eat what's put in front of me... ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed to be a gynaecologist."
"Why does the farmer hate his job? because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting."
"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his entire family"
"How do you organize a party in space? You planet."
"I said my wife's name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet's empty..."
"How can you tell when you're in a ring of fire? When you reach for the Preparation H and accidentally grab the Ben-Gay"
"Massive victory for business ethics advocates! After years of negotiation and hard work, an industry-wide agreement has finally banned opticians from using contracts containing small print."
"Pussy I know some of you don't get it."