50134

Joke of the Day

"I don't know what NBC showed last night.. But it must have been awesome, everyone is sporting their colors now."

"Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now."

"What does a Muslim with allergies say? Al-achoo Akbar."

"Pendanticness test Look in the comment section for your results."

"What does Bruce Lee drink when he's thirsty? Wa-TAH!"

"I like my women like I like my radioactive isotopes... Really hot and completely unstable."

"If you REALLY need to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time."

"why did the cookie go to the doctors? ... because he felt crumby!"

"Isn't it fun how many different shapes pasta can be? My wife left me last night."

"[at funeral] My brother was so realistic and sensible. I guess you could say- *casket is lowered into the ground* -he was down to earth."