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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what NBC showed last night.. But it must have been awesome, everyone is sporting their colors now."

"Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out."

"What did the girl say when her boyfriend asked her to rate the size of his penis? Urinate (heh just made this one up)"

"Sex is like the stock market... It's better if you're insider."

"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off"

"Why the USA get silver in synchronized diving? Because Steele Johnson always comes second."

"How do you react when looking in the mirror? You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar."

"Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed."

"Real person: Do you have Twitter? I'll follow you! Me: Nope, sorry. Don't have a phone or a computer. Or a microwave. Hard times and all.."

"Collection of totally offensive jokes, not for the faint hearted"