90513

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Macho Man Randy Savage that does not belong to you? >Nacho Man Randy Savage!!!!! this is my original content!!!!"

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."

"Reading a Chinese newspaper is like looking at 1,000 douchebag tattoos at once."

"Girls of Reddit what do you like in a man Lol we all know girls don't do the ""Internet""."

"Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie? <in a Dutch accent> Not much Gouda"

"My girlfriend had a heart to heart conversation with me today. She said she wanted some time and distance. Cool! She must really want to calculate velocity"

"See a penny pick it up... All day long you'll have.... A nagging feeling that the previous owner wasn't a ""hand washer""."

"Why are ET's eyes so big? He got the phone bill"

"here's my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you're welcome"

"SURVIVAL TIP If a gummy bear is chasing you, curl up like a ball and pretend you're stoned"