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Joke of the Day

"Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie? <in a Dutch accent> Not much Gouda"

"What's Moby Dick's dads name? Poppa Boner"

"Deceitful atoms.. Never trust an atom... They make up everything."

"How do scientists celebrate Pirate Day? They get their Aaargh-On!"

"WIFE (noticing lipstick on my collar): have you been kissing another woman? ME: uhh MY DOG (with bright pink lips): go on, tell her"

"Why dont arabs have drivers and sex ed on the same day The camels would get to tired"

"My friend keeps dressing up like a pregnant Corgi for Halloween... Me: ""Dude, stop being be bitch!"""

"I'm giving away my dead batteries. They're free of charge."

"I had such a crap day. First my ex got run over by a bus. Then I got fired from my job as a bus driver. Ugh."

"Trump isn't bad for the economy. Because of him, Correct the Record increased it's operational budget by 600%."