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Joke of the Day

"I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for his birthday. I guess I'll never know why he so badly wanted an ex box."

"You know who DOES see something wrong with a little bump n' grind? Trevor in human resources."

"Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up"

"What's the difference between a tumblrite and a coprolite? Their age."

"In Harry Potter, a scar on your forehead means you're a hero. In real life, a scar on your forehead means you got drunk & lack coordination."

"I don't have multiple personality disorder and neither do I."

"What's a ducks favorite drug? Quack cocaine"

"What's the worst gear for America? Cruz control."

"What's the difference between this post and a fire truck? A fire truck is red and has four wheels while this post is a complete fucking waste of your time."

"Put the punchline before the setup. What's the best way to ruin any joke?"