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Joke of the Day

"In Harry Potter, a scar on your forehead means you're a hero. In real life, a scar on your forehead means you got drunk & lack coordination."

"What tree gives the best high-fives? A PALM tree!"

"Why does Hillary Clinton want to be president? She also wants to get a blow job in the oval office"

"just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio"

"I think the elementary school music teacher was overly optimistic when she said we may recognize this next song."

"I like my exes suicides how I like my whiskey On the rocks."

"What's the difference between a radical feminist and a suicide bomber? One's being triggered and one's pulling the trigger."

"Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody's getting."

"What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them"

"NaCl / NaOH The base is under assault!"