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Joke of the Day

"In Harry Potter, a scar on your forehead means you're a hero. In real life, a scar on your forehead means you got drunk & lack coordination."

"Micromanager Knock Knock Who's there? Micromanager. Now, you say 'micromanager who?'"

"Where do puppies go when they die? Back into the microwave so I can get in another round."

"What's a vegetarian policeman's favourite meal? Caesar Salad"

"Dude tried to pick me up at the gym but I was like bro I'm dying just let me lay here"

"Ancient wisdom: There is no tri... only a do-ceratops. Just dug this joke up."

"What starts with ""E"" and has only one letter in it? Envelope!"

"I think I'm done clapping for stuff. It's enough already."

"Some people are like Slinkies... Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"What do you call an anorexic lady with a yeast infection? A Quarter Ponder with Cheese."