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Joke of the Day

"I feel like the length of my twitter name is juuuuuust wedging me out of many MANY #FF tweets #delusional"

"""I'm not here to make 'Friends'!"" --Matthew Perry on some reality show in 2016 so get ready to laugh!"

"How does a pig write home? With a pig pen."

"[Me at job interview] And, how seriously does your company take allegations of witchcraft?"

"Im black and crack addict I cant satisfy any of my hoes :("

"Taking pictures with an iPad is the new fanny pack."

"Did you hear about the crowd of Catholic priests at baby Gap? The sign in the window advertised ""Little Boys Pants Half Off!"""

"What was Hitler's problem when the lights went out? He could Nazi. Edit: Fuck me, Reddit. I heard you *liked* puns..."

"If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package."

"I like when you see a guy with a beard and you can immediately tell he's fashioned his entire thing/vibe/life around having that beard."