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Joke of the Day

"How do you get Lady Gaga attention? P-p-p-poke her face."

"Women are like hand grenades If you take off the ring you lose your house and half your belongings"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee? Because he started drinking it before it was cool."

"Obi-wan: *holding baby* Let's make her a famous princess Droid: What about the other baby? Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere"

"Usain Bolt is already in 2016. Happy New Year !"

"*Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*"

"Where did the team get there uniforms? New Jersey"

"Look at all of these beautiful horse ""Horses"" Horse is already plural ""You're thinking of elk"" *stares off* Holy mooses, you're right"

"What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium? WATER YOU DOING"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day. --My amazing girlfriend told me this one"