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Joke of the Day

"Obi-wan: *holding baby* Let's make her a famous princess Droid: What about the other baby? Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere"

"In 2017 I'm going to start eating healthy again. This marks the end of my cheat decade."

"I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds."

"How long does it take a Mexican to build a.... And he's done."

"I was looking for a subtle way to describe my penis... ...and then I went to /r/minimalism..."

"What is the Ape monster's name? Godzilla Gorilla!"

"I get why Tupac's band smoked his ashes... ...It would have been tacky to take a shot in his memory."

"what do you call an asian supply warehouse party? A surprise party!"

"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Ground up and in the freezer."