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Joke of the Day

"Recently in court, I was found guilty of being egotistical I am appealing (-Stewart Francis)"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Also, tornados and the dark and everything."

"What does the Mexican gang member say to the 15 page document? Hey, *essay*!"

"Two gay guys went out for a night on the town without any cash. It was an unfunded mandate."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow all the movies in his Pixar collection except one, He is never gonna give you Up."

"If I got $1 every time somebody called me sexist I would walk free of a rape case"

"What do you call a prostitute with white eyes? Full up."

"Can prisoners ask for The Olive Garden's Endless Pasta for their last meal? If so, I think I just found a loophole in our judicial system."

"Q: How do you make five pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it."

"Jehovah's Witness: Do you have time to talk about Jesus? Jesus: *In disguise* sure JW: He's lame J: *rips off fake beard* Big mistake pal"