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Joke of the Day

"Can prisoners ask for The Olive Garden's Endless Pasta for their last meal? If so, I think I just found a loophole in our judicial system."

"Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ..."

"How do skateboarders see? So gnar"

"A shrinking man walks into a doctors office. The receptionist says, ""you'll have to be a little patient""."

"Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die"

"The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside."

"There's safety in numbers. Tell that to 6 million Jews."

"""If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'"" -guy logic"

"What do you call Christopher Reeve before the accident? Christopher Walken."

"What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm? A Zy-Goat I'll escort myself out."