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Joke of the Day
"What does the Mexican gang member say to the 15 page document? Hey, *essay*!"
Next Joke
"""Is that a banana in your pocket or you just happy to see me?"" *Pulls out smart car"
"What's infinite times better than the Super Bowl? The Hyperbole"
"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."
"""Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you've been wearing the same outfit all week is you"" - my fashion blog"
"How do you know if someone is a vegan? They tell you."
"UK: we call them films, after the traditional recording process using photographic film USA: WE CALL THEM MOVIES BECAUSE THEM PHOTOS MOVE"
"My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?"
"How come NASCAR drivers don't get along with each other? Because they're racists. (Race-ists)"
"How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes"