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Joke of the Day

"Quidditch is my kind of sport. You don't have to run, you get to sit the whole time, and if things aren't going well you can just fly home."

Next Joke
 
"Fencing proves that with enough rules even a sword fight can be boring as hell."
"I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. Surely 239 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about."
"*storms out of office bathroom* *slams roll of single-ply toilet paper on boss's desk* I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS"
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it takes nine visits."
"Empty My head is just like the comments section. (I'm not sure if the 'Wow, such empty' is on PCs and laptops so... yeah...)"
"1) In the interest of time, would ye noble patriots please provide a list of infractions punishable by spontaneous public execution? Thanks!"
"What do you do to a scientist after he dies? You Barium."
"I use head&shoulders Me: I use head&shoulders frequently Friend: But you dont have dandroof? Me: Exactly!"
"On phone: GF: We're breaking up... Me: I can hear you fine! GF: It's not you, it's me... Me: Did you get a new provider? GF: Kinda... Bye!"