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Joke of the Day

"87% of my day is spent remembering my kids names and my anniversary and stuff and the other 57% is trying to do math."

"What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap? He said ""Sure! I could loan some Dove""."

"The difference between Jam and Marmalade [NSFW] Q: What is the difference between jam and marmalade? A: I can't marmalade my dick down your throat."

"Virgin vs. Slut What's the difference between a virgin and a slut? A virgin says ""Don't! STOP!"" A slut says, ""Don't stop!"""

"""Dad, tell me a joke"" ""Pussy"" ""I don't get it"" ""I know, son"""

"The swimsuit portion of the presidential election is going to suck."

"Why are gas giants always so happy? Because they're so Jovial."

"Mother: How do you like your new teacher ? Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !"

"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."

"How's everyone holding up ? It's crazy out there. I've killed at least 15 zombies already !! Why are they all carrying candy ?"