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Joke of the Day

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"++drinks: drink first, ask questions later"

"Is it just a coincidence that you turn purple when you choke? skol"

"How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb."

"What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor"

"*inside camp-out tent* ""Wanna hear-"" *puts torch under chin* ""-a scary story?"" *flicks torch on, it vibrates* ""OMG. ITS. NOT. A. TORCH."""

"My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and I love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker."

"I took a class on procrastination There was always homework due next week (. .) "

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman ? Snowballs."

"What did Blake Edwards say when asked if he had a roomate? Yes, I have a rhuuuum, mate!"