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Joke of the Day
"What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common? They both like to pork."
Next Joke
"So, a rapist, a sadist, and a pothead walk into a bar and order a beer... The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive backfield here."""
"*whispers seductively in your ear* ""...look at that last slice of pizza and you're dead to me..."""
"Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?"
"Snowmen on a hill Two snowmen are standing on a hill and one says to the other ""Smells like carrots..."""
"How do you say hi Hello"
"What do you call a pen without style? Stylus."
"I ate catnip today. I enjoyed it, but the cat sure didn't."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm coming through your window, I'm under your bed. Thank you"
"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."