90201

Joke of the Day

"The Chinese New Year sure is a lot less ryanseacresty."

"[Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!"

"Nothing screams ""I don't care about being on time for work"" like hopping on Twitter first thing in the morning."

"There is no life on earth without water.nBecause without water, there is no coffee.nAnd without coffee, I'll kill you all."

"Why is Donald Trump a good candidate? Because if he was bad he'd be a CANTdidate."

"who is the most fun on a missing persons case? the search party animal!"

"YO MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN YOU GO AROUND HER YOU GET LOST!"

"Why Does Dr. Pepper Come in a Can? ...Because his wife died."

"The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw"

"Fucking cows... ...wouldn't recommend it."